Here’s to Not Missing!
I am watching the movie “Alfie” with Jude law, again tonight, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what makes him such a Bad Chap.
I mean, other than the fact that he just doesn’t want to commit until he’s found the Right One, but then again who likes to make mistakes?
I tend to think that his character attracts these girls that just seem to cling to him. In the beginning they are all flirtatious, but then when commitment is brought up, you know that the flirtation is going to end.
Flirting is all about the possibility of not getting what you want. The “Thrill of the Chase,” so to speak. Men love this, and for a short while, so do women.
Women, unfortunately, have the advantage. If us men say “no” there is always some bloke just around the corner ready to say “yes” to them…
It’s not so much that I abhor commitment as it is that I just don’t like the dramatic change that happens to women when women want to “settle down” and the thoughts of marriage go traipsing through their pretty little skulls.
Not that I’m sexist either, because I know that there is a stereotype of how guys act too once they are confronted with Commitment.
Me, I’m rather impartial to commitment nowadays. I like the feeling of familiarity of having someone around for the long haul; I just want to know what I’m getting in The Beginning. My best mate is up to his eyeballs in a clingy, co-dependent relationship right now, and it’s exactly what he wants.
It’s good for him and I’m happy. I just worry that I haven’t rubbed off too much on him or his last relationship didn’t hurt him too much.
You see, he is obviously close to “love” in this relationship, but can’t seem to say it, or at least doesn’t around me.
I’m going with the first idea.
In his last relationship he kinda tossed the “L” word out there a little too soon, and while it bore the slight “twinge” of a faux pas in the beginning, it started to look like things worked out for the better because it relaxed things in the relationship because it opened up a whole “circle of trust.”
Don’t get me wrong, trust is necessary in any good relationship, but this had a different effect
He got to see that love was all this girl ever wanted or needed. She hadn’t truly let herself go or figure out who she really was until she had the security net of someone who loved her to help her along. He’s not taking any credit her self-discovery as no one should but the person themselves, but I would have to say that you need to watch out for two types of people in this world:
-Those that have never loved and,
-Those that have loved too often.
I guess it’s the same could be said about sex, and in this I can see how some women and men could easily get the two confused.
My ideal person would be a lot like me, a little cautious because of losing love in a prior relationship where the thought of doing so seemed preposterous; while on the other hand a hopeless romantic that still believes that you give affection the way you wish to have it returned to you. Someone who likes to know that someone wants to work towards something with them and only them but also someone who prides themselves on their own self-achievements.
Things like a good fashion sense and great taste in music means that conversation rarely goes flat, but the common denominator in most of my relationships seems to be being able to understand my sense of humor.
It’s really so weird that we base our ideals on all of these external factors when in all actuality, we will be dating another personality. This personality will have a name, a family, possible pet, quirky food allergies, weird sleeping habits, you name it.
No matter how similar your significant other can appear to be to you in interests, hobbies, careers, etc., it’s the differences that make you fond of them.
Personally, I enjoy dating a girl that does something that I have NO idea of what it’s all about. I love learning new things. You just can’t let the allure of an interesting personality trait or hobby consume you.
Many will brand this interest as “love at first sight” or the “moment they fell in love.”
Now I know I’m not old enough to be giving relationship advice because Lord knows I haven’t been in enough of them, but I have studied quit closely all manner of them and I know full well when patterns emerge and mistakes are made.
What am I doing with all of this profound wisdom? Storing it up, analyzing it, cross-checking and formulating new theories and such so that when I come back around from tossing my hat back in the ring, I can look back and either pat myself on the back or kick myself in the arse.
Either way, I should probably invest in a mirror, because missing would make me look quite stupid.
Ears to Hear With and Eyes to Cry With…
Wow.
I haven’t been here in a while; hope it’s not all weird.
I won’t say much other then the fact that I am polishing my playlist of songs that I really enjoy listening to in the background while thinking deeply and enjoying an incredible cabernet.
I hope that it shows just enough about me without giving too much away as to regular underlying themes in my live that lead me to enjoy probably more cabernet than I should.
I felt the need to get away once again from my usual blog and start anew. I need to wipe the slate clean, seeing as how I don’t very much having my thoughts be so readily accessible to certain people.
Sometimes it just feels right to dump it all on complete strangers.
I knows it’s only a matter of time before this blog is discovered and checked up on a daily basis for any little tidbit of information that might garner one an insignificant metal victory due to the belief that the inner turmoil expressed within the confines of this page are literal proof of immature, high school-esque war won due to the fact that I am showing my cards. Expressing mental anguish and exasperation with living alone.
Who knows? It could all just be in my head.
This page may very well remain undiscovered and remain a safe haven for my rambling babbling brook of a thought stream.
So anyhow, my playlist is as follows:
1. Tristan Prettyman – Void
2. Shannon Stephens – So Gentle Your Arms
3. Damien Rice – The Blower’s Daughter
4. Kate Earl – Silence
5. Coldplay – Sparks
6. Ray LaMontagne – Empty
7. Rachael Yamagata – Be Be Your Love
8. Laura Veirs – Spelunking
9. Shannon Stephens – Panic
10. John Mayer – Comfortable
11. Jack Johnson – Wrong Turn
12. Shannon Stephens – Air So Thick
13. Tristan Prettyman – When It Rains
14. Matt Costa – Lullaby (feat. Jack Johnson)
15. Jill Sobule – Rock Me To Sleep
16. Shannon Stephens – I Don’t Want to Go
17. Andrew Bird – Action Adventure
18. Bitter Sweet – Moody
19. Sia – Sunday
I realize, only after typing out the playlist that it’s a little Shannon Stephens heavy. I have been quite fond of her, as well as Damien Rice and the new Ray LaMontagne.
I am always amazed by playlists and mixtapes and such. They are often made with someone else in mind, but when you listen to it, one can’t help but try to place themselves in the creator’s shoes and try to imagine how they felt or what was running through their hearts and minds at that time.
Regardless of what’s going on in my head right now, it’s getting me through this rut I seem to be in right now in my life and for that I am thankful that I still have ears to hear with and eyes to cry with.
There is no war won or lost here, no battle scars to tend too; just growing pains of a heart that has been allowed to grow.
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