So, no real stream of thought conjoined to form a whole complete idea in this post. No this is more or less just a catch-up or a documentation of my cavalcade of adventures this weekend.
Friday evening was jolly good, as me and several of my mates decided upon catching up over a few pints at a local pub in downtown Columbia. Pretty uneventful, but nevertheless overdue. We had to get pissed earlier than we are used to as the season premiere of BSG was due to come on @ 10PM that evening and seeing as how we are all quite the “geekiest” of lads, is was not to be missed under any circumstances.
Seeing as how I was still getting my girlfriend caught up on it all by re-watching the prior 3 seasons on DVD throughout the month we have the new episode baiting us on the DVR. My lady and I couldn’t have anything keeping us up too late because we were supposed to have a big weekend out of the state.
I was supposed to go to New York City but in lieu of a lost cat, we were forced to opt out of that idea. Instead I spent most of the day Saturday schlepping around some of the finer ravines and forests the inner-city of Baltimore has to offer in hopes of finding a cat that wishes for nothing less to remain hidden.
After woeful partial condolences of a lost cat from friends who rushed to our aide to locate the absent animal, my girlfriend and I decided to call it an eve and get some shut-eye. I told her that I would sleep down in the living room by the front door so that if the cat came back in the night, I would hear him and let him in. Her, being the great gal she is decided to do the same so there we were. Nestled up on the couch and love seat, listening to the sound of the rain coming down, trying to filter out sounds of muffled “meows” all the while trying to rest our weary eyes and tired bones.
Then, at quarter of 5 in the morning, my girlfriend jumps off the loveseat to find her cat and a local neiborhood kitty engaged in feline conversation, nonchelantly lying about on the damp concret of our porch.
HE HAD RETURNED! The Prodigal Cat had come back, making for a happy sat of humans as no further stress or worry needed to be displaced by the thought of a “Street-Pizza-Kitten.”
We all headed upstairs and allowed ourselves the luxury of sleeping in and gently rolling into a Lazy Sunday.
After catching up on a few more back episodes of BSG (we are knee-deep in Season 2.5) I headed off to the shops to pick up a few things that I wanted to get for my toys. A new Apple keyboard and Xbox rechargeable batteries and a charging unit would assuage my woes of missed road-tripping and lost kitty syndrome.
Since I was going to be back in the area, I rang one of my mates to see if we could meet for lunch after all of my running around. He said it sounded like a great idea, after he had hit the gym, so we made plans for a late lunch and drinks in his neck of the woods.
I seem to always forget why I hate the people of Columbia so much, that is, until I get laced-up in the traffic there. Columbia is the home of the Non-Driver. You can also forget about getting parking near anything that you want to get to.
While I was mildly daunted with dealing with the doldrums of Cloumbia for the better part of the afternoon, a cold pint of ale and a nice hearty deep-dish pizza were in order for me. Two things have never gone together better on a cool, spring day.
After filling myself way more than I should on pizza and beer, I decided that it was time to go grocery shopping. I decided in-store that it was time for me to shopper more health-conscious, and start treating myself better.
Both of these ideas seemed to be quite popular and highly capitalized upon, as my trip to the market took quite a considerable chunk of change from my wallet.
One of my better purchases were Breathe Right nasal strips, as I tend to have a hard time breathing through my nose at night, which forces me to toss and turn regularly, thus pissing off the sleeping girlfriend who lies next to me. Last night was one of the better nights of sleep that I had, and being able to breath properly come morning time was quite a refreshing experience.
All-in-all, I had a pretty good weekend and am hoping with what I have done to set myself up for the next two or more weeks will allow things to get only better.
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I am in the weird predicament where I have the opportunity to talk to three very attractive women right now, but due to the fact that I won’t do anything until I have absolute positive verification as to whether they fancy me as much as I fancy them, I will continue to sit on my arse and do nothing now, and most likely whine about it later.
Girl #1 is actually my main interest. We actually used to date…kind of.
I made the mistake of falling for her and it was quite obvious without me ever having to let those three dreaded words part my lips. She still corresponds with me due to the fact that I will always be Mr. Nice Guy with her, and my unconditional love of her allows me to remain her possible “contingency plan” if her plans don’t work out if she fails to meet certain life goals.
She’s my plan A, and I’m her Plan B…
Girl #2 is a new girl. A girl I met from the dreaded return to MySpace. She’s a nice girls who enjoys my rambling and finds my ridiculous drivel endearing. We have yet to meet face to face, but essentially talk almost every night for hours on end via Instant messenger. She’s got great brains, and I admire that about her, but I am 5 years her senior…
She has stated that she finds me attractive and I her, but she has also expressed her feelings about my work schedule making me “not readily available” when it comes to dating. I may have been placed into the “Friend Zone” as for now, with evidence being as how she has already openly talked to me about a guy that she slept with shortly after we started corresponding.
Girl #3 didn’t really develop until this evening. She actually works at my gym, and the vibe I get from her may all just be in my head, but she has stated on several occasions that she really likes my hair, or my shoes, or something else about me, when I walk past her. And she always smiles at me and makes it a point to tell me to have a nice evening when I leave, even if she is talking to someone else.
As it stands now, I don’t think I really have a chance with Girl #1 right now, per se, but I tell myself everyday that she is worth the wait. I only pray that I am right.
Girl #2 is someone I wouldn’t mind having something develop with, as she is really smart and quite interesting.
Girl #3, I believe, is just a fun flirty thing, but I get the feeling like I really should flirt back, if for no other reason than to just brush up on my flirtation skills. Who knows where it could lead?
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It’s official. 
I’m back on MySpace.
*sigh*
I don’t really know why I keep doing it to myself. I have a yearning to reach out to someone, anyone, so long as they match what my drill-down selections are.
I have friends, but I don’t I always seem to forget about what it’s like to be single until I’m in it for a good long time. Well, I guess you can count almost a year as when it becomes a “good long time” to my heart.
I want female companionship, but am always afraid of meeting the wrong person at the right time. I have already lived through the right person at the wrong time and I must say, that for as great as it was, it still hurts.
My initial fear of being “bad at love” has been conquered, as now I just want someone to be “in the foxhole with.” A kindred spirit, so to speak.. the insurmountable obstacle of my own shyness keeps me from happiness, but then there is the fact that when I do loosen up (read: drink) I can be quite the charmer. I’m witty and bright. I have great taste in clothes and electronics, and have worked very hard at polishing my social skills, for that one fateful day when they are used for the forces of good.
So back to the real reason I signed back on for another tour of the “Nets,” I have to admit that I’m batting 1.000 when it comes down to meeting someone and it not be a total freak-fest.
The whole thing went from being a toyed with fantasy to a reality when my “game” came under question by my roommates girlfriend. She wanted to send me on all of these blind dates with girls that she works with, but then my roommate chimed in and told her “[he’s] more likely to want to get to know them first on-line or through email before he meets them, that’s just how he is…”
Great, I just got stereotyped…by my best friend…
Don’t get me wrong, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. I do thrive in an on-line environment better then on the spot in reality unless I have a pre-established base in which to default back to when conversation or situations get “dicey” at best.
I figure I’ll give this whole MySpace thing a little while before I get fully sick of it again and try to submerse myself in humanity once again.
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My week alone is almost at a close, and I must say that I feel a little split between it being a waste and it feeling like what my soul needed; moments to sit back and take a mental inventory. Time to reflect on my life and bounce ideas off of myself.
What I’m doing.
Where I’m going.
It’s not that these thoughts aren’t constantly brewing in my head as much as it’s the fact that I put them out there to be dissected and examined before I truly get a chance to analyze and polish them; to have them become complete thought that fully voice my opinion and feelings.
Most times, I just say what’s on my mind to my friends, spur of the moment, because my A.D.D. runs away with my thought stream. I get frustrated when someone else brings up a valid point that makes my thoughts seem infantile at best because the rest of the idea was right in front of me the whole time.
With this happening with such frequency, due to the fact that I am rarely ever alone, and my opinion is seemingly always asked for, it’s not hard to see why I have a view that everyone around me is much smarter and wiser than I.
Is this the case? Is this what wisdom is; the ability to formulate complete, rational thoughts quickly?
I do have friends, that I consider much smarter than I, that admit with great frequency that I am smart. I am told to take it as fact and not just a compliment. My self-esteem seems to be keeping me from doing their bidding, but I wake up every morning with a plan to try to change and to become that person that everyone believes me to be.
It’s quite unnerving to look back at the end of the day and see my successes and my failure and see a rift in my personality. On one hand I can come off completely in control of a situation and the life of the party to people I interact with on a daily basis, but take that same person and place him in a social situation where I actually want to fit in, where I want to belong, and I clam up.
After a few expensive drinks, I tend to unwind a bit, but that’s always after I have already given off the impression of being distant, uninterested, or shy to those who don’t know me. The only times that I can recall where this isn’t as much the case is where there is someone there that is newer to this scenario than I in the crowd I run with on such an occasion.
I do my best to make people feel comfortable, but when people are already are comfortable, then I just feel unnecessary and expected to perform or something. To instantly become a focal point of attention because the few people that are in the groups I run with know me as such most of the time when we are in more familiar environments.
I wish one day to become the type of person that can express how I feel and be seen as a valued contributing member of society, but for now, it’s just me and this lonely cell.
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