Insulted Intelligence
Why does it seem to keep happening? 
Do I bruise too easily?
I recently had a discussion with a close friend in which I revealed a pet peeve of mine. One that has me in quite a quandary of it’s existence to begin with. I absolutely detest it when my intelligence is insulted; when I am treated as if I should have known something when I don’t. Is it that I am not as smart as I should be or is it just the fact that I come off in such a manner that people naturally assume one thing about me and are at ease with me to just bring it out in the open that one thing that I found to be particularly funny is actually just quite dumb.
Why do I find humor and solace in the details?
I am not ashamed of being different but why do I feel so upset when someone points out my differences to others?
I love to learn and am in no way suggesting I know everything.
I just don’t feel comfortable with someone thinking that they know me or that I can be pigeonholed into a stereotype.
I do, however, long to be understood. In this, “understanding” and “knowing” take on two completely different definitions. I am amazed that the English language has taken care of the fact that there are so many different words for varying degrees of action.
It’s funny, because I can look back know and hear the words of a close friend of mine resound in my mind. Words that, at that time, I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but know I know.
When I was younger, I was told by him, in response to a question posed by me as to why certain people don’t like me; that I come off as a “know-it-all.”
My immediate response was, “What do you mean? If I know how something should be done, then shouldn’t I let them know?”
It has taken me 7 years to figure it out, and actually it wasn’t something I really thought about up until late. My roommate’s girlfriend, the one I mentioned in a previous post, is an awful lot like I was at her age. She automatically knows the answer to everything.
She seems to suffer from a feeling of wanting to fit it in a more “grown-up” world. It’s not that she’s wrong, it’s just she doesn’t really sit back and listen to suggestions and seems to just regurgitate everything she has read about as opposed to going off of life’s lessons.
A recent example was in adjusting the audio levels on her car stereo. It’s not the most high end in-dash CD player on the market, but she went at the whole situation as though it was like a 300 line mixing board found in a multi-million dollar recording studio.
We were told that the “loudness” option was not preferably in any ideal listening situation in an automobile because it only boosted low levels at low volumes. She was allowed to dispense this information as an “authority” because it was something she read in a college she received an Associate’s Degree from for something completely unrelated to her current field of work.
When I chimed in with my input after she ranted and raved over all of the minute details of adjusting the Treble and the Bass of “if it sounds good with the Loudness turned on then I say leave it on.” It was then we both received the “Loudness argument” and my roommate kind of set her off when he agreed with me.
It’s not like I had any idea of what I was talking about, having only 8 years of audio installation experience or anything. It’s not like I don’t have a great sounding setup in my bedroom, living room, and car. It’s not like I can’t spot distortion at an almost microscopic level in just about anything I hear.
It’s not like music is a huge part of my life.
The major change in my life has come from just sitting back and not saying anything. I let others get their opinions out all the while some small part of me believes they are just digging their own graves.
And yet, I never get to tell them, “HA! You were WRONG! I told you so!!!”
Well, a little bit of her seems to be rubbing off on my roommate (let me tell you how weird it feels to realize that I am referring to him more and more as of late as that and not as my Best Friend…) as he has seemed to instantly jump over my input and completely tear it down.
I don’t like to be made to feel like I am under attack, because my reaction to such actions generally isn’t the best, and the irreversible often happens.
There has been a tumultuous volcano eruption brewing just beneath my surface for a while now, and I am in fear of what is going to happen when it finally explodes.
Sometimes I pray for ignorance, or at least the ability to feign it…
