Holes to Heaven

So I figure that I have been away long enough.

There is no shame in journaling my thoughts and feelings when times are rough, as this blog usually stand to be my sounding board. No, I am not depressed all of the time, nor am I so confused or scared. It’s the things I don’t know how to deal with that I need to flesh out for clarification. Much like sounding out a word never read before.

Much has changed since last post, as I have moved out of my shite living situation, been branded a bastard by my previous roommate, and done what I told myself I’d never do again: Move in with a girlfriend.

While explanations for all of those really have no place in this post, they all may have had a butterflies wing flap of influence into my my current chaotic situation. Before you begin thinking things are completely horrible when I use the term “chaotic” let me remind you that it merely stands for a situations that is lacking visible order or organization. That is what I am trying to do here – gain organization and understanding of it all.

So everything has been rolling along quite well as of recently with my lady, but we seem to have minor disagreements in several areas as of late. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that we are both so comfortable with each other, or the current state of affairs in America with Politics, Religion, and Right to Choose being major issues due to the election, not to mention, race and sexism issues intertwining with our current candidates.

I am 30 now, and can no longer seem to shrug off these important issues with my peers, as my opinion and swiftness in weighing in on these issues seems to be all anyone ever wants to do these days. What ever happened to making mixed tapes, or watching sunsets, or trying to see who could come up with the funnier “word-mashup?”

Needless to say, a debate broke out during a dinner date with my girlfriend between us as to how society should treat these two social nasties, sexism and racism, and I seemed to go for the unconventional idea that if it was ignored and treated as nothing, then those inciting it would no longer get their desired response and eventually would die off. This all coming from a religious upbringing of “turning the other cheek.” My argument was of course met with contention from my girlfriend who is currently trying to further ingrain herself in the role of a feminine activist, or feminist.

Don’t get the wrong idea about me, as I am completely for anyone wanting equal treatment, as I feel that as humans we are all the same and deserve to be treated as such, but I feel that isolation and stereotyping those who feel otherwise, only further perpetuates the problems. Call me “hokey” if you will, but I truly do find merit in the question “Why can’t we all get along?”

All in all, I have come pretty far in this journey called life, and still feel as those it’s kind of disorientating finding the right path, but I do know one thing, that I need to work on my listening skills, redefine my definition of masculinity, and above all recognize that it is wonderful we are able to debate in this fashion,  that we’re good together because of our ability to do so, and willingness to recognize the underlying strength of our bond in spite of the contrasting views.